Random Bits

Munchkin cracks my ass up when she wants to play Rock, Paper, Scissors and insists it's Wrap, Paper, Scissors. I wonder if she is ready for Tiger Hand yet.

I cannot listen to Bob Marley's Jammin without hearing Chief Wiggam and Lou.

Where Does the Time Go?

Today is Little's birthday. I cannot believe it has been a year since she came into the world and our lives. Seriously. A year?

She has family coming in to visit and will get a cake to herself to smoosh about in and make a general mess. She'll get to be the center of attention and isn't that what babies are all about? Making messes and getting attention?

When's Happy Hour?

Soooo...ask me how I started my morning. Go ahead.

Okay, I'll tell you. By starting last night.

In what had started a decent enough day, by the ending I was ready to throw in the towel. Let's start at, ohhhh, say 5ish when Little woke up from her nap. And was she pissed off. Non stop crying, don't you dare put me down kind of attitude. So after an hour or so, I have her finally chilled out, and go to start dinner.

While outside for whatever reason, taking trash out, I see the one of the knobs on the grill turned. I go investigate and see the gas is on too. I distinctly remember shutting it down last time I cooked, so am baffled while it is on at all. Not that it matters, because it has been on long enough that a brand new bottle of gas is gone. I suppose we are lucky it didn't blow up or some shit.

Back inside trying to make dinner and Little is constantly under foot, dragging out pots and pans for me to step on or stub my toe. Then I can't find my little roasting pan. Looking everywhere but cannot find it. So I'm getting more annoyed. Fine, I'll use the big ass glass 13x9. For 3 flipping chicken breasts. Talk about overkill. Fine, so I get dinner going. 15 minutes, my timer goes off and I go in and flip the breasts over to the other side.

I don't even make it out of the kitchen when I hear this boom and then tinkling.

The goddamn pan exploded in the oven. Just shrapnel everywhere. Fuck this, call Shannon and tell her to bring home dinner. I seriously considered starting to drink heavily.

So my morning has been spent cleaning out what seems like 15 pounds of glass shards out of the oven. I only cut/impaled myself 3 times. Good times, good times.

Swimmin'

We went to my parents to swim yesterday. They were back from their cruise, so we had a family gathering. Sister and her family and us all went over for swimming and some grilling. Good time was had.

Made me remember being a kid and swimming. You'd swing your ass off, playing in the water for hours. Then you'd get out and be done, and two things would always happen. Always!! What were they? Damn right!! You got massive hungry and then wanted to just sleep.

Happened to me last night. My dad made burgers the size of your head and I was all, I can't eat all that, I haven't been hungry. Ate the whole damn thing!! And was a zombie because I needed a damn nap!!!

Nice to see some things don't change.

Pwned!

Munchkin hands me this tube of Barbie chapstick or the like asking me to open it. It is brand new and you need to break the seal and unscrew it. So I am working it like mad, and just cannot get that stupid thing to budge. Try a fingernail to break the seal but nothing, not even brute strength will do it.

Hand it back to her, saying I can't do it, sorry. She wanders off and I turn my attnetion to Little only to hear, "Never mind Daddy, I got it open".

Call Me?

About 2 months ago, Jeopardy had an online audition that I participated in. The test was a doozy and timed. Had like 10 seconds to answer each question, best spelling possible. So that is quite a handful right there.

During this test, things went Tango Uniform here at casa de Murphy. Little was crying and trying to climb in my lap, Munchkin was running around doing her best to not be in bed, etc. So I didn't do as well as I probably could have, by myself in a quiet room.

I think I did okay, but okay enough to get an invite for a formal try out? I dunno. But I check my mail everyday hoping to see something. I even check my spam box in case it gets misrouted.

Is that sad? That's sad, isn't it? But really, if you're reading Alex, call me.

Wrongness!!

Okay I resign myself to the fact that it is summer. But jeebus, we are only at the end of June and hitting 108 already? That is fucked up hardcore. It was so hot last night that we didn't even open the windows up when we went to bed because it was still flippin hot. Get online this morning and see that at the rosy early morning time of 9 o'clock and it is already 92 degrees. Wrongness!!!

Inlaws are coming for a visit here next week. Should be a fun visit. For them and the kids of course. They don't come to see us, duh, we are merely owners of the grandbabies.

They are bringing a smoker with them. I have to say I am giddy with the possibilities. I am going to be a BBQing fool. Then again, I could probaly just wrap a cardboard box with some tinfoil and have one with this heat. It is gonna suck to grill and smoke in this weather but ya know what? Fuckit, for some BBQ and what not, it'll be worth it. I'll just crispy up with the meat. At least my whiteness won't blind people anymore and in my burned state, we can keep the rolls warm on me or something.

BBQ is like sex people. There is always time for it, and even if it comes out half assed, it still is pretty good.

Catch Up

God, you turn around and it is a week or some such crap since you last posted. And what do I have to report in regards to said week? In Latin, it would be Jackus Squatus.

With school out, the kids stay home with me mostly, ya know, save a few bucks. So my day is mostly baby wrangling, who by the way is a fabulous walker now. She is also starting to talk a little bit. Got Mama down and a bit of bye-bye. Won't be long now when I tell her to sit down and be quiet.

With no working now and staying in all the time, I am getting a little weird now about going out. I get so used to being in, that I get all afraid of going out. Yay for anxiety!

They painted the apartment today and so the place smells like paint fumes. I have a bit of a headache from it. Little kept getting woken up by the workman so hasn't napped for crap today and I'm guessing been breathing in the fumes too. She has been squirrely as hell.

If you'll excuse me, I have a half naked baby to chase down. Half the diaper off and cheek flapping in the breeze. Who said life would be dull?

Smiles of the Week

All three of my girls dancing to Shakira's Hips Don't Lie.

Munchkin explaining to me that she has a wand of invisibilty. She does this elaborate dance and waving of the wand...

...then races down the hall yelling, You can't see me!!.

Little trying to kiss the cat. Anywear. Head. Body. Tail. Ass. Oh god please don't.

Public Service Announcement

Here's a little tip from your Uncle Murphy.

If you want to run around the store being airheaded and squealing like 15 year old girls are wont to do, fine. I can even deal with the fact that you are doing it in pajama bottoms and a tiny tshirt that doesn't come down all the way, fine. I don't even care if you are a little chubby doing it, I like chubby, fine.

However.

Shave your back honey. Seriously. Even though all I saw was the small of your back, and amazingly enough, there was no tramp stamp, it looked like you had sasquatch back.

And what kind of friend was that with you? Perhaps a corollary. Friends don't let friends expose hairy backs.

That is all. Carry on.

The One Where I Go On and On About Nothing

I think I am sun burned. It is getting owie-ish. I was supposed to stay in the shade but I wound up playing. For what do you speak of Murphy? The class party off at one of them racquet clubs with a pool and what not. Seems more like a country club but hey, you call it whatever you want to.

I went just for the hell of it, get paid for standing around and doing nothing? Count me in! I didn't just stand around though, I wound up playing with them. And ya know what? I had a blast!! I played ping-pong and was running the table, undefeated and everyone wanted a turn against me. Until I got schooled by one them. Hahhaa. Then I went off and watched them play tennis and was asked if I wanted to play and I said sure. And damn if it wasn't fun. I hadn't played tennis in a hundred years. Okay, how about several decades?

I'm usually all freaked out about any kind of exertion or anything athletic these days because of my hip surgeries and arthritis but I felt pretty good out there. I didn't feel worried really. I didn't really shag ass after balls but I actually ran after some and it felt real good. I might have to try that somemore.

So, as far as Idol and Survivor...

Well, I am glad that Taylor won. I really liked him the most and thought he did the best job. Still pissed that Chris got voted off, but I am not worried over his future at all.

Survivor was decent enough. I'm not surprised that Terry got stabbed in the back basically by Danielle. As soon as she did that I was rooting Aras all the way. Second to Terry, Aras did the best I think. He had it a whole lot easier than Terry being on the winning side from the get go and being in control but a helluva competitor. I loved the fact that during the reunion, when Jeff asked if Terry had made it who would they have voted for and Danielle would have lost that way too. Hahahahaha, suck it!

In baby news, Little is offically walking now. Unless she needs to be somewhere in a hurry, we amble along on two little chubby legs. Like she wasn't trouble before, now she is hell on wheels.

/ramble